So…what’s up with all these creepy Korean dudes?

I think that while you’re in Korea, you’re bound to meet a lot of strange people…but just in my personal experience and from stories from friends, it seems like there is a disproportionate amount of men who can’t read social cues here. I met a guy in the coffee shop because he asked to borrow my iPhone cable. Perfectly fine. You can borrow my cable. It does not mean that we’re friends, though. I ran into him again and this time he decided to have a chat with me. He speaks English pretty well, and I’ll chat for 5 minutes, but boy do I hate small talk. I’m not the most socially well-adjusted person in the world, but if someone kept sighing while I was talking to them, didn’t make eye contact with me for a good half hour, was working on his computer while talking, and ultimately stopped speaking altogether, then I hope I would know to leave. But in this case, the man felt it was better to pull his chair up next to me and look over my shoulder to see what I was doing. He watched me in silence for a few minutes before moving on.

I love having Korean friends, but nothing screams “it puts the lotion on its skin” more than a needy Korean man who feels like personal space is an outdated concept. This personal space issue comes in the form of putting a hand on your leg, trying to look you up and down in the changing room at the gym, trying to hold your hand, generally touching you a lot, or trying to actually touch your genitals (as was the experience of a friend of mine). It’s a different culture to be sure, but I’m not ever going to be a Korean and I don’t feel a lot of need to adopt new social boundaries that make me uncomfortable. I don’t believe, as many people do, that there are just tons of closeted homosexual Korean men. I think they’re just raised in a society that discourages meaningful contact with the opposite sex until you’re sort of messed up from it. I’ve met lots of well adjusted Korean men who I like hanging out with…but more often than not, Korean men that speak English freak me out like nothing else.

It’s generally a more touchy feely culture than mine to begin with. So maybe I’m just uncomfortable for no reason, but just about every foreigner I’ve spoken to has some story about a weird over-friendly Korean man who’s tried to weave himself into the fabric of their lives. I had to eventually block calls from this one guy in Seosan who kept trying to invite himself to my apartment and constantly asked where I lived. He really didn’t like it when I said “I barely know you, you can’t come to my apartment.” So after I blocked him I didn’t hear from him for months until a few weeks ago when he got a new number and called me. I told him I was at work and couldn’t talk and promptly re-blocked him. A guy who lived near me one time came up to my apartment uninvited and asked himself in. I can’t even tell you how many drunken phone calls I’ve gotten at 2am on a work night from guys wanting me to come have a drink with them. It’s nice that people are interested in me, but shouldn’t you have your own thing going on? Is this just me? Share your experiences below.

Dokdo is our land

Warning: This post is probably offensive if you care about Dokdo. I think that Dokdo is Korean territory, I just don’t care.

Ah, The lovely Dokdo Islands. The spiritual homeland of all true Koreans. For those of you who don’t know, this is a set of controversial rocks in the Sea of Japan/East Sea (more on that later) that people foam at the mouth over. Traditionally, it is part of Korea, but the Japanese claim it as well and call it Takeshima (which, despite there being no bamboo on the rocks, means “bamboo island”). It is internationally recognized as the Liancourt Rocks, because that’s what they are: rocks. I’m a bit antagonistic about Dokdo and I’ve had to quit making jokes about it because it upsets too many people. It’s a bit of a touchy subject, but I hope to explain the issues surrounding the islands and offer a simple solution to solve the problem once and for all.

Backstory:

Here’s an abbreviated history: So Japan annexed Korea in 1910 and remained in power until 1945. This was a pretty rough time by all accounts. Thousands of Koreans were killed by the Japanese and even the Korean language was outlawed in public life at one point. During this time is also when the concept of Korean blood being liquid divinity really picked up steam. Ethnic nationalism got its choke hold on the society as a sort of protest against the Japanese occupiers who were trying to convince Koreans that they were essentially the same race (which is true both historically due to migration and biologically since there is no biological basis for race). Even the previous president was born in Japan and given a Japanese name (at first I thought this was a joke when I found out, but it’s actually true). So during the annexation, all of Korea’s lands were transferred to Japan…well, actually Japan claims that Dokdo became part of Japan in 1905, though Japanese maps before that time show it as being part of Korea. So in 1945 when Japan had to give up all its imperialistic endeavors and give back the lands it had taken, there was a treaty to be signed.

There were several drafts of the treaty leading up to the signing of the final treaty. All of those drafts specified that Dokdo was one of the territories to be given up, but it was left off of the final treaty. Some people suspect that Japan had cut a back room deal with the US to give them permission to use it for target practice…and Dokdo was bombed by the States, though with permission it obtained from Korea. The bombers thought some fishing boats were rocks and bombed those as well. There’s a lot of other stuff that happened during the occupation, but this has just served as a way for me to respond to those who will inevitably tell me to “learn my history” as if I’m some uneducated dolt without an internet connection and a strong command of Google.

Do You Know Dokdo?

People get really worked up over Dokdo. There are t-shirts, bumper stickers, dioramas, and everything in Korea. Many of my students’ essays were about how they wanted to learn English to tell everyone about Dokdo. Not many people outside of Korea know about Dokdo, and once they find out they don’t really seem to care. It’s not a personal issue for outsiders and so we can’t be expected to care about it. The amount of fervor in the “Do you know Dokdo?” campaign tends to have the opposite affect on a lot of outsiders. For me personally, I think “If Dokdo is your land, then why do you have to keep talking about it?” Because Japan says it’s theirs…Okay, well if someone kept telling everyone that my car was in fact their car, or that my wife was their wife, or that my home state belonged to some other country, I’d say “You’re nuts” and leave it at that. I certainly wouldn’t devote my life to debunking what I perceived to be madness. In fact, I think that the more people argue that Dokdo is Korean territory, the less believable it becomes.

A Korean soccer player was denied his medal at the Olympics last year for holding up a sign in Korean saying “Dokdo is our land.” This is because you’re just not allowed to be political at the Olympics. Lots of people argued that it wasn’t a political statement, that it was just the truth, but again, why do you have to keep re-asserting something that is so obviously true? It smacks of insecurity. Once Japan said they were going to refer to Dokdo as Takeshima, there were huge protests…someone set themselves on fire, someone cut off their fingers, etc. You know, reasonable stuff. A couple of years ago, some Japanese big wigs came to Korea to visit Dokdo and were deported. Wait…so they had to come through Korea to visit a land that they claim is theirs? They couldn’t just go from Japan? Doesn’t that and the fact that Koreans control the island, have citizens living on the island, and protect it militarily sort of say “This is our land”? Do you really need any more evidence? It doesn’t sound like a real debate. It would be one thing if there was a Japanese military base there and if Japanese nationals could visit it as easily and as legally as Korean nationals. For better or for worse, Dokdo is Korean territory.

So…what’s this all about?

“It’s about the natural resources surrounding the island!” you say? How innocent of you. I’m sure that has something to do with it, but really it’s just generations of racial hatred seeking a vehicle for expression. The Japanese pushed Korea around for a long time, not that most people have ever experienced the effects of it, so there’s a big chip on the shoulder of the nation and a desire to stick it to the Japanese, even though modern Japanese folks had nothing to do with the occupation or oppression of the Korean people. The great thing is that people who never experienced Japanese oppression and who have only benefited from Korean relations with Japan can brainwash their children to hate the Japanese through propaganda. I think the first time I noticed this was when I was teaching the kids about animals and a bunch of kids started cursing and disapproving of one animal in particular: a pheasant. When wondering what pheasants ever did to this group of 11 year olds, I was informed that it is Japan’s national bird. So yeah, I’m sure that the kids came to this level of hatred all on their own…it probably wasn’t through calculated indoctrination. There was a post last year showing a bunch of racially charged children’s drawings on display in a subway in Seoul, but all the links are dead and there are no more links that I can find. UPDATE: A friend sent me a youtube link:

Even in a textbook I teach my kids from, there’s an article we have to read about Dokdo. But Korea is incredibly nationalistic and teaches its kids accordingly in the same way my school’s were all about teaching us patriotism, but it seems like Korea is way more successful. Even among some of my friends, there is a strong anti-Japanese sentiment. The ilbe trolls get even more animated on the internet calling for full-scale genocide at every chance they get.

To me, Dokdo doesn’t symbolize national sovereignty, but rather rabid nationalism and racial hatred. When someone starts talking to me about Dokdo, I immediately think “You are probably a bad person who is full of all sorts of hatred.” I asked some of my friends in Japan what they and their Japanese friends thought. The general response was “no one cares” except for one person who commiserated over the issue with me, because his girlfriend cared. When a student tells me they want to tell everyone about Dokdo, I want to say “Stop learning English, no one cares. Don’t get a passport.” I often wonder why some of the more hateful students want to learn English so badly, because they’re usually the most nationalistic ones as well. What’s the point of telling everyone what a great utopia Korea is if you don’t want anyone coming here? If i hear one more kid talk about how they want to kill the Japanese or how black people are dirty, I swear I’m going to call child protective services. It’s not that I don’t think Korea’s national sovereignty is important, I just don’t think anyone’s national sovereignty is important…at least not important enough to indoctrinate children with extreme racial hatred from the time they’re born.

The Solution(s)

1) Bomb the rocks into oblivion. Now no one can have them. Go to your room.

2) Shut up about it.

3) Have a war.

Gyopo Life in Korea: An Interview

I’ve been getting some hits from people wondering how gyopo’s get by in Korea (What’s a gyopo?). I’m not a gyopo so I didn’t want to throw my hat in the ring on this one. So I did an interview with one of my gyopo friends to ask him some pretty standard questions. Jon and I both moved to Korea around the same time in 2009 and met in Suwon. He’s worked at public schools for the past 4 years and is now living in Uijeongbu with his wife and kid. I had to do some creative cutting and pasting because this was a g-chat conversation and we didn’t always respond at the right time. So understand, this is just a conversation between two friends and I’m not claiming to be unbiased or that this is an absolute view of the truth.

me: So basically, I get a few hits every couple of days from people searching for things like “Is it hard to be a gyopo in Korea?” or “Are jobs hard to find for gyopos?” You’re a gyopo, what do you think?

Jon: First, I will say that these are just my opinions based upon being in Korea for the past 4 years. There are both pros and cons to being a “gyopo” in Korea. The biggest pro would be the F-4 visa or “magic visa”. We are allowed to enjoy all the benefits of Korean citizens except some things like voting. As for being a “gyopo” and living in Korea, I think it is a wonderful thing. Being in America for all but 6 months of my life and always looking different for the most part, it is nice to blend in. We are not judged on looks like other expats for the most part.

me: So do you think it’s socially better for you as a gyopo or do you think that there are harsher expectations for you?

Jon: One of the social benefits would be everyday life. I just feel like if I were not to look like everyone else it may be a little bit different here.

me: But I think one of the things that people find hard is that they’re expected to act Korean and not American or whatever they might be. Do you find that to be the case?

Jon: Korea is still not the “melting pot” of the world in terms of different ethnicity.

me: Right. I’ve heard one of the weird things is that people don’t understand why some gyopos can’t speak fluent Korean.

Jon: Even before I came here, I was living in Orlando and there was a Korean mart owner who told me it would be very difficult for me. I think speaking Korean is the biggest con for a gyopo coming to korea. Even if you can speak Korean, our accents are different or even words they use and they will know you are a gyopo. I think there are two types of gyopos. People who have Korean parents and can speak and grew up in a Korean house but just not in Korea. For me, being adopted, it is very difficult cause I do look the part but I couldn’t speak, read or write before I came here.

me: That’s a pretty big distinction…do you know if there’s a word for the two different groups?

Jon: I don’t know if there is a category for myself but by definition I am a “gyopo”.

me: Yeah, I mean, you are. There are no fake gyopos!

Jon: Sometimes I feel like one. Especially not being fluent in Korean.

me: So do you feel that being a gyopo has some negative consequences in terms of being accepted by Koreans?

Jon: Honestly, I have been lucky. I think there are benefits to looking the part. Koreans want to learn English and my feel more comfortable being around someone that looks like them. On the flip side, I was at a coffee shop the other day with my Canadian friend and we were speaking English. This table of 6 older Koreans kept staring.

me: Haha, staring is awesome. What about jobs? Do you think that it’s easier or harder for you to get a job?

Jon: I think there are two sides to that question. If you look on craigslist for jobs, there are always GYOPO jobs.

me: Yeah, there are definitely jobs that I can’t get because I’m not a woman and I’m not a gyopo.

Jon: If you read them, they still want someone who is fluent in Korean. They also don’t have to do as much visa work and may not pay for your housing.

me: Do you think it’s a visa issue or a racial one?

Jon: I honestly think it’s a visa and convenience issue. You can maybe communicate with the students better. There are probably more financial reasons though.

me: Some of the gyopo jobs pay amazingly.

Jon: As for the public school jobs, like you mentioned in one of your posts, all the schools would want a white North American woman with blue eyes, etc…

me: I’ve seen company jobs that pay 3.6 million.

Jon: Tell me where.. hahahahahah

me: Haha, I saw a few on eslcafe and craigslist. But what do you think about living here as a gyopo? Do you find yourself wanting to identify more with Korea or do you feel like you’re always going to be American?

Jon: I am always going to be American. Especially in my way of thinking. To be honest with you, I have started to identify myself more with Koreans these days. It doesn’t hurt that I now have a Korean wife and spend lots of time with them.

me: In what ways do you identify?

Jon: My mother in law still is hilarious when she talks about “Americans”. Mostly based upon the large military presence here. Those are the times when I am happy I look like a Korean and can blend in.

me: Yeah, I can feel that. I get tired of everyone thinking I’m a rapist pedophile.

Jon: True. Lose the beard and that may change. hahahah

me: I’ve been good about keeping it off…but that’s another blog post entirely.

Jon: I think a true benefit is dating for sure.

me:   Oh, Let’s hit on that in a second. Let’s go back to the job aspect. What about your relationships with your co-workers and bosses? Do you think your gyopo status has negatively or positively affected your experience?

Jon: I also identify with the Korean way of life for the most part. Especially when it comes to issues like healthcare. There are many things I do disagree with in terms of social hierarchy.

me: Yeah, that’s a big challenge for most Americans.

Jon: As for my relationship with my current boss, it is horrible. I don’t think it is because I’m Korean American but just some of the differences in our cultural thinking.

me: Yeah

Jon: I think Koreans want to adapt to the Western way of thinking but I also think it’s harder for the older generation. My previous boss was younger and more understanding. She was a little more open minded towards the fact that I am a foreigner and may have different ideas.

me: Okay, I was just wondering if you felt you received special treatment or if it was worse for you.

Jon: At school, everyone speaks to me in Korean. I am sure that if I was white, that may be a little different. On the other hand, most teachers cannot speak in English.

me: Haha, I’m white and everyone talks to me in Korean. My next job, I’m going to pretend I can’t understand them.

Jon: I don’t feel like I get special treatment because I’m a gyopo. The hiring process was difficult because they wanted a stereo typical North American. I was THEIR LAST CHOICE.

me: That’s wild. Why do you think that is? Because like we were saying, there are plenty of gyopo only jobs.

Jon: I think they believe I’m the fat fitness trainer. On the other hand, I think the students feel more comfortable and maybe motivated that I look like them and can speak English.

me: Yeah, I think that helps with the kids. It’s so bizarre that they wouldn’t give gyopos hiring preference. Especially if they’re bilingual.

Jon: After the novelty wears off, it’s about the speaking and listening. Being comfortable is also a huge thing. I cost the same amount to bring here and pay. If I had a choice between the fat trainer or the fit trainer… I would choose the fit one.

me: But if someone speaks Korean then it seems like they’d have a leg up.

Jon: True but we aren’t here to speak Korean. Even our contract say we are to speak English the whole time. They have a Korean English language specialist. They are way cheaper than a gyopo and have those benefits you just spoke of. They are the ones who will take the jobs from us.

me: So you mentioned dating. You think it’s been easier or harder for you?

Jon: I think it was easier for me. Still many Koreans can’t bring home non-Koreans. Plus they get the benefit of English.

me: That’s true. I think there will always be Koreans that are interested in an interracial relationship, but I think it’s definitely better for you being Korean.

Jon: I think with the younger generation of parents, they are more open minded these days. I think that grandparents are one of the main reasons why Koreans date Koreans. Koreans are very proud people about their family line.

me: Yeah…well, I think that’s sad…but whatever. Haha. The danger for me is having something to compare it to.

Jon: That’s another blog topic.

me: Like if that happened in America, it would be a great source of shame. Like “Oh, my grandma’s a bigot. I’m so embarrassed.”

Jon: hahaha

me: So, for the gyopos who are coming to the blog for answers, what would you say? Is it something they should be worried about or do you recommend it?

Jon: I would say that there are some prejudices still about gyopos teaching english. I feel like you may not be the school’s first choice but stick with it. If you have a phone interview then they can hear you speak and all may be fine. The other strike is just being a male here. Most school would prefer women. Either way, if you work at a public school there probably won’t be a difference in how you are treated once in the school. They students may love you because you look like them. I have had a great experience so far living and working in Korea as a whole.

Korean Bosses and You

Warning: This is a long post. I’ve been getting a lot of hits on the site by people googling things like “how to deal with your Korean boss,” etc. So I thought I’d give my two cents on it. This is just my opinion and it sort of wavers between hardcore cynicism and what I hope to be objective realism. The biggest peril in Korea, I think, is having a Korean boss, especially if you work at a “private” school/hagwon. Unfortunately, if you are working in Korea, you have a Korean boss. Let’s begin by saying that this isn’t a racial categorization, but rather a cultural one. Many people view cultural supremacy to be just as bad as racial supremacy, so I digress…let’s just say that if you work in Korea, you will have a boss and your relationship will not always go smoothly…by the way, they’re going to be Korean.

One of my friends recently said “Treat your Korean boss like a mushroom. Keep them in the dark and feed them s&@%.” There are definitely times when you could benefit from that…but for the sake of being less cynical, let’s use this approach as a last resort. Don’t worry, I’ll get cynical in a bit. I think there are a lot of good articles about this subject on various blogs. What they all say is the same thing “Korean culture is different than Western culture.” Of course, it is, though how different can be debated. It seems to me that Korean culture is incredibly similar to Western culture since they’ve eaten up our media, our fashion, our language, our food, etc. There are some key points at which Korean culture really diverges from the West. This is where I talk about Confucianism (Imagine me talking about Confucianism). So did you get all that? Yeah, Confucianism is pretty messed up when taken to an extreme. The guy said some pretty cool things, but somehow this dead Chinese man is a lot of what’s wrong with Korea (from my point of view).

Here’s another thing that you hear on a lot of blogs: “Your boss, for his whole life has had to take abuse from his superiors and now that he’s gotten to the top, he feels that it’s within his right to abuse others.” That bit seems true. Instead of breaking the cycle and following some of Confucius’s other sayings about how you shouldn’t impose stuff on others that you wouldn’t want imposed on yourself, it continues indefinitely. I can’t imagine that anyone likes being bullied by their superior or would wish it upon themselves, so I’m guessing that they’re just not very good at being Confucian when it doesn’t suit them. We have the same thing back home, it just comes in the form of Christian folks not acting very Christian. So let’s put any notions of superiority behind us for the time being.

Korean bosses are God-Kings. It reminds me of the story you always hear about the Roman general riding through the streets in front of a cheering crowd. In the story, there’s someone beside/behind him saying “Look behind you! Remember that you are but a man! Remember that you’ll die!” It will often seem like your Korean boss hasn’t been made aware that he is not a deity. The best way to deal with this…well, your guess is as good as mine, but they are already self-proclaimed deities and it wouldn’t hurt for you to treat them like that also if it won’t kill you.

I think a lot of conflict comes from our different understandings of the concept of respect. In a lot of ways, I grew up thinking that you had to earn respect. Of course, you always ought to respect the elderly, but if the elderly person in question is a hateful monster then you don’t really have to respect them. Most of us were also raised to believe that we deserved some amount of respect since we’re human beings and all…well that doesn’t play to hierarchy so much, so just go ahead and forget about that. The people I’ve worked with have a very different idea of respect.

One of my bosses (not going to mention which one) is a horrible man. I mean, if I felt like getting deported, I would start a fist fight with him. He’s very much the traditional type who expects you to bow and speak to him in honorific Korean (a form of speech that you almost never actually use in real life). He told me once that I shouldn’t speak English to the children…that I should only speak to them in Korean…yeah…I sort of had to say “Well…this is my job…that’s why the office of education hired me…right?” But this man, on the Monday meetings, likes to find one person who has made some minor mistake and just lays into them. He likes to make women cry. He likes to curse at them in front of all of their co-workers until they cry in front of everyone. How this man scaled the ranks to become a principal is beyond me. They’ve got a system in place which apparently requires no education on how to manage employees other than a copy of “The Prince.” Anyway, my co-teachers all “respect” him, but it’s not what I think of as respect. When he’s present, they’re very deferential to him, but the second he leaves then it’s time to bring out the trash talk. I sort of think that if you respect someone, then you respect them even when they’re not there. Maybe they feel the same way, but if that’s the case I’m unaware.

I had some bosses at a hagwon when I first moved here. I had no idea how to do anything in Korea. So when bills came I didn’t know what to do. They told me to give them the money and they’d pay it. So I thought that was great. I had no idea how much bills were supposed to be in Korea either. So I went about paying them. Then I learned how to read my bill and noticed that “late payment” was always there. They were taking my money, not paying the bill, then making a profit when I would inevitably pay the late fee, which they had pocketed. I caught on when my water bill was 100$ and had a pink slip attached to it. I had one of my co-workers read it and she told me it said they were cutting off my water because I hadn’t paid in 3 months. I went into work and gave them what I actually owed for the month, didn’t pay the late fee, and let them know I was wise to their scheme. I shouldn’t have done this because we’re talking about a really small amount of money. They were stealing from me of course, but they were stealing like 20$ a month. It’s such a petty amount and it was definitely embarrassing for them. So the best way to go about it would have been to just pay what I owed and never mention the discrepancy so they wouldn’t have to “lose face.” I feel bad for my co-workers who lived in the hagwon, though. Their electricity bill was 60,000won (56$) according to my bosses who were the only ones allowed to see the electricity bill (my electricity bill is about 6$ normally).

I think the best way to deal with everything is ultimately to avoid conflict at all cost. Ask yourself if it’s worth getting worked up for. If it really is some minor thing, then go complain to your friends if you want to, but the more you give the more you get…and to be honest, maybe that won’t be true in your case. Maybe you will have a sociopath for a boss, but most of the things that foreigners chalk up to some sort of mental disorder are really just the result of entitlement and inflexibility on the part of the teacher, who feels outnumbered and taken advantage of. Sometimes that is the case, but a lot of times taking a deep breath and going with the flow will make your life easier. If it’s something where they’re not paying you for overtime, that would be a good time to mention something if you’re working in a public school or something…if you work at a hagwon though, just expect that and expect that if you mention it then your life just got twice as bad because you’ve raised the alarm on the thought police. It’s also advisable to try to work things out with your school first before you speak to your liaison at the office of education. If you go over your bosses head, it just won’t go well for you and the liaison is more likely to take your boss’s side because they’re worried about their jobs too. They also want to appear easy going…and honestly, they’re not qualified for their positions a lot of times. Being a gyopo and teaching a little is all they need to get those jobs. If I’m wrong, then call me out, but I’ve read job adverts for those positions. It’s easy to look at it and say “well that’s a racist hiring practice,” and while we will never get those jobs, most of us weren’t raised speaking fluent Korean and English and don’t have a complete understanding of both cultures…and maybe they don’t always either; it seems difficult to live in both worlds and to not be too in favor of one over the other…I’m just throwing that out there.

So anyway, this is a really long post and it’s just my opinion based on my experience. Your experience will not be the same as mine, but it could be similar. There’s plenty of good things about working in Korea, but learning to lie low is a key to getting those things. This time of year a lot of people are going to be coming over for their first tours and the best way to get over some minor injustice is to realize that this isn’t permanent unless you want it to be.

English Haircut, Seosan

Hey, Seosan people. So I’m out of here soon and so I want to post as much practical information as possible before I leave. Getting a haircut in Korea is terrifying. Even if you know the proper vocabulary for getting your hair cut (which you don’t, because Korean textbooks don’t teach you this stuff), it’s still pretty scary. Especially because Seosan is far from a bustling city, you would think your chances of getting an English speaking hair stylist would be hard, but you would be wrong! Go to Hosu Hair Salon! The main guy there worked in London for 3 years and speaks pretty decent English. There’s a few expats who go there that I know of and I haven’t had any bad experiences there. You also get a little discount card where you get a thousand won credit every time you visit. I’ve drawn a map to the location.

Krishnamurti: “Why Don’t You Change?”

One of my friends posted this video a while ago on facebook. I don’t know much about Krishnamurti and I’m not claiming to agree with him on everything he might have ever said, but I agree with this. An interesting thought for the new year.

“Why don’t you change? What prevents you?

If each one of us asks that question… not verbally or merely intellectually as a mere entertainment. But ask that question most seriously and deeply. What’s your answer?

What’s your answer to this problem that human beings have lived this way for millennia upon millennia? Why haven’t they changed? Why haven’t you, who are listening now, why haven’t you changed?

You know if you don’t change, what the consequences are. You’ll be national, nationalistic. You’ll be tribal, insular, isolated, and therefore have no relationship globally. Fighting, fighting, fighting. Building up more and more armaments, destroying each other.

Now why don’t you, if you are at all serious in this matter, why don’t you ask yourself that question? Why haven’t I, a human being who has been through all this… why haven’t I changed? What would be your answer?…

Either you are not serious. You want to live a very very superficial life,  and that superficiality temporarily satisfies you. Or you really don’t care. As long as you’re immediate pleasures, immediate satisfactions… you really don’t care.

You don’t care for your children if they are murdered, or you really have no deep love or affection for them. If you had, you would prevent all wars. So, apparently, none of these things mean anything to you.

Or probably you are so deeply conditioned psychologically… of course we are biologically conditioned as a full matter altogether, but psychologically conditioned. And one is not aware of it. And unless there is a freedom from this condition, you will go on this way.

After all…life is what? One global unity movement. So, in the same way… our consciousness is common to all mankind. Now, if I radically change, surely it affects the rest of the consciousness of man.

Now…why don’t you change?”

Introduction Videos for a Job?

It’s very strange, but almost every recruiter I’ve spoken to has told me that at some point I’ll need to make a self-introduction video. I’ve been in Korea for over 3 years now and this is the first time I’ve ever been asked. Has anyone else experienced this recently? There are two sides to this and it can really go either way:

1) Korea’s hiring standards are becoming better

Perhaps Korean schools are attempting to better know their candidates and make sure they’re not too socially awkward. This would be a good thing. Personally, I think we should all have to take psych evaluations before we’re hired, because I’ve met some people here who seem to have legitimate mental health issues. Currently, phone interviews have always been the norm, and so I don’t see how a calculated video made to glorify one’s self is a good indicator of teaching ability, which leads me to…

2) Korea’s hiring standards are becoming worse

If you are a blonde white woman, you will almost surely be hired by just about any school (I guess the exception are gyopos [ethnic Koreans raised abroad], who also have a high preference due to visa issues and probably more sinister race based issues). Regardless, the stereotype is that Korean schools often hire based upon really stupid/superficial reasons related to how a person looks. Again, this doesn’t really speak to a person’s ability to effectively teach the English language.

I don’t think anyone wants to be hired based upon their looks or how well they can make a video as opposed to their qualifications. It’s a sad situation because most of the time it seems that the more qualified you are to teach English in Korea, the less desirable you become as a candidate; that’s because the more qualified you are, the more money you have to be paid. The fact is that ESL isn’t really considered a profession by a lot of people, so any foreigner will do. I was rejected from jobs I wanted last year because they would have had to pay me more than two million won and that’s just too expensive. If you get with a school, you can usually stay and watch your pay increase, but there’s no guarantee that you won’t be let go the second you get too expensive. My biggest fear for staying in Korea long-term is that I’ll be stuck in the same pay scale for the rest of my life (a pay scale which hasn’t really changed for ESL teachers since the late 90’s). What 40 year old wants to make the same money they made when they were 25? Of course, I have a solution to this problem, but it will wait until another blog post! In the meantime, let’s hope the elections on Wednesday go the right way and the people don’t elect some evil dictator’s daughter. For those of you unaware, I’m not being sarcastic. One of the presidential candidates is the daughter of a former dictator of Korea who held on to power for 17 years before being assassinated. Seriously, if you were the offspring of a dictator, would you ever think of running for office in the country? Anyway, the future president has a bit of sway over what’s going to happen in terms of education funding for the next 5 years.

Asan “Water park” (테딘워터파크)

A couple of weeks ago my girlfriend asked me to go to a water park near Cheonan. I couldn’t figure out why we’d go to a water park when it was dipping below freezing every night…but it was totally a water park and it was awesome. We went with 3 of her friends and stayed at a pension (basically a hotel where everyone sleeps on the floor in a communal room). The water park is called Tedin Water Park and it has a large outdoor area for the Summer, but it has a pretty large indoor area that’s open year round. I thought that it was going to be incredibly crowded like most things in Korea, but it wasn’t that bad. It was mostly families with young kids and a few couples. All the water was warm like a bath, but you could go outside to the real spas which were scalding hot; those were the best, but you had to go outside while soaking wet to get to them. I thought I wouldn’t like the place, but it turned out to be really relaxing. Here are some photos:

Here’s a great article I read on the bus today. It’s really long and pretty controversial in places. If you’re super sensitive about Korea then I wouldn’t read it. It’s tough love at its best. For me personally, I think it voices a view I’ve held for a while, which is “I love Korea for what it could be, but not necessarily what it is.”

Circles and Squares

“Prospects for Korean as an International Language”

 Craig Urquhart

Guest Report for Circles and Squares  

November 29, 2012

 

Living in Korea, I often hear things like this from boosters or those within institutions:

l  “Hangeul should be used by more languages around the world. It’s possibly the most regular and best alphabet ever invented. I predict that one day it will be used everywhere.”

l  “Korean can become a true international language.”

l  “Korea is moving up, and one day we’ll be number one!”

l  “Don’t you think Korean food is the best in the world?”

l  “Korea is the most convenient country in the world. It’s the best.”

Often, when these themes are framed as questions, there’s an implicit assumption that if you disagree, you’re a critic, and critics of Korea who aren’t accepted as ideologically proper Koreans are dismissed or viewed…

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Clown for Hire: How Your Korean Bosses Try to Delegitimize You

One of the bad things about teaching in Korea is dealing with the well-intentioned but racist practice of making the foreigner become a spectacle. This comes in a variety of forms and levels of disrespect. Let’s talk about some of these, shall we?

One of the things I’ve been told by several co-teachers over the years is “No, you are a real teacher!” I don’t really think so. For one, I don’t have any official certification saying that I am qualified to teach except an online TEFL certificate which doesn’t mean anything. So okay, I don’t think I’m a “real” teacher, but I am a teacher at the school and have to maintain order. Fine. That being said, foreigners are often requested to do things that your Korean co-teachers would never dream of doing.

It’s never a big deal. It’s always a very simple request, like “Can you participate in a Sports day activity?” So you say “Yeah, sure, sounds fun.” Later you sort of realize that you’re the only teacher participating. Yesterday, it was “Can you flip through these signs while the kids sing a song?” I explained to her that it would be silly for me to stand in the center of the children flipping posterboards with words written on them, a la Bob Dylan’s “Subterranean Homesick Blues,” because the school festival is about the kids and I shouldn’t be there to detract from them. Besides, they’re wearing costumes and doing a dance, how many things do you need to happen at once? Also, the speed of the song increases to the extent that I have to flip the cards like a maniac and fumble around with them and I explained to her that it kind of makes me look like an idiot. “No! No!” she told me and so I asked her if she wanted to do it; that also was a “no.” I dragged my other co-teacher into the room and had her watch our performance and see what she thought. She also thought it wasn’t a good idea for me to be involved for the same reasons I did. Finally, I dropped my real reason which was that no other teachers are participating in their students’ presentations because it’s below them essentially. They don’t want to be embarrassed and lose face and neither do I. So I basically told her that I think she’s using me as a prop and that I don’t like it and don’t think she would use me if I was Korean. So she said she would think about it. As I was walking out to leave yesterday, she told me “Oh, you will hold the signs tomorrow.” At that point I said “It’s a bad idea. I think so and Jinju thinks so. It’s embarrassing and I really don’t want to do it. You still think it’s a good idea?” She said we would still do it and she would help me (by standing off stage and preparing things), so I just accepted it.

After the fact, I wish I would have stood up for myself a bit more and just said “no” outright. It’s easier to say “yes” because it makes your life easier in the short run and it’s a super Korean thing to do, but you’re not Korean. After standing in front of the parents as cheesy children’s music played, I understood exactly how stupid this actually looked. While this doesn’t sound like a big deal to some people and they love bending over for the school whenever they can, I find it insulting. This is one of those things that chips away at your authority as a teacher. In the same way, foreigners are usually called by their first names by students. Why? Because we’re buddies, right? I’m not your teacher, I’m your friend! So when you attempt to punish a child, their punishment is forgiven by the co-teacher almost immediately. If a student says “F*** you, teacher” then it’s no cause for alarm because they just said it to a foreigner. Now if they said the equivalent to their Korean teachers, they would probably need to be hospitalized or treated by a therapist for years to come. I think it not so subconsciously teaches the students that they don’t have to listen to you.

So long story short, you should go ahead and tell your bosses and co-teachers “no” upon occasion to remind them that you have a right to your dignity as much as any of them. I don’t think my co-teacher is an out and out racist, but I do think she used me so that the parents could say “Oh, look at our foreigner! He’s so silly!” Just to make my point, here’s a very literal example: That’s me dressed up as a clown when I worked at a Hagwon a few years ago. I didn’t know any better then and we were told the Korean teachers also had to do it, but of course they never did. The same thing happened around Halloween when we were told that the Korean staff would also be dressing up. I didn’t mind it as much then because I was working with 4 year olds and they were nice. Now, I work with 12 year olds who can only say “teacher stupid!” and “F*** you teacher!”  If it sounds like I’m complaining about nothing then that’s fine, but I think it’s unacceptable to be treated differently from your Korean counterparts simply because we’re foreigners.